{"id":286,"date":"2021-12-06T01:15:41","date_gmt":"2021-12-06T01:15:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ertantric.com\/?p=286"},"modified":"2021-12-06T02:05:03","modified_gmt":"2021-12-06T02:05:03","slug":"5-simple-sexual-skills-to-have","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ertantric.com\/es\/5-simple-sexual-skills-to-have\/","title":{"rendered":"5 simple sexual skills to have"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Photo by Dainis Graveris<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Ever wondered what being a sex god (or goddess) is all about?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you watch a lot of porn, you might think it\u2019s about having a ten-inch dick and being able to go for hours. If you read lady magazines, you may think it\u2019s being able to give the perfect blow job. If, like me, have had the fortune to have more about sex experiences, it\u2019s easy to assume that sexual superstardom is only reserved for people who are young, hot, and able to bend their bodies into all sorts of unlikely shapes, like a multi-flexible yoga teacher. Or knowing mystical sexual secrets, like a Tantra goddess.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I\u2019ve started to think differently, thanks to my work as an erotic masseuse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This job is a bit like working in a restaurant or bank \u2014 I meet people from all ways of life. Young and old, rich and poor, hot and not. I\u2019ve gotten naked with just about every personality and body type. I\u2019ve spent time with men, women, and couples. And I\u2019ve learned that the people who rock between the sheets aren\u2019t always the ones we expect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Turns out, the people who are good at sex aren\u2019t necessarily the young, attractive, or exceptionally bendy. The real winners are the people with skills\u2026<\/strong> Not mystical knowledge or science degrees, just basic stuff that they\u2019ve learned and practiced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, based on that, I share with you 5 simple sex skills according (to me) to have for being a great lay.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Remember that we\u2019re all winging it<\/h2>\n\n\n\n


Feeling anxious at the thought of getting naked with someone? Here\u2019s some good news \u2013 your date probably feels the same.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Whenever I start feeling out of my depth, I remind myself that it\u2019s the same for everyone. We\u2019re all scared. We\u2019re all insecure. Furthermore, we all worry about doing or saying the wrong thing. Chances are, your partner is just as nervous as you in the bedroom.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Slow Down<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

When it comes to sex, it\u2019s easy to assume the goal is simply getting off. But when we rush to the orgasm bit, we miss out on lots of other fun stuff along the way. Worse, trying to rush means we often become distracted from what we\u2019re doing. <\/strong>If you\u2019re mentally re-hashing the conversation you had over dinner or worrying about whether you\u2019ll get your partner off, you might not be fully focused on the task at hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

So, slow down, take a deep breath, and look your partner in the eyes. It only takes a few seconds\u2026 but it allows you to get out of your head and start concentrating on your body. It also creates a sense of connection with your date, so you stay in tune with each other.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Try it. You\u2019ll see what I mean.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Touch with purpose<\/h2>\n\n\n\n


The way we touch other people\u2019s bodies makes a huge difference. If you\u2019re not concentrating, you might be touching your partner in a way that\u2019s not sexy\u2026grabby, nervous touch rarely feels good.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

I see this most often at work when I meet someone who hasn\u2019t had sex in a while or hasn\u2019t had much experience. Sometimes they\u2019re so excited that they end up trying to do everything at once. It\u2019s like being tickled when you really want to be hugged \u2014 it just doesn\u2019t feel right!<\/p>\n\n\n\n

On the other hand, a relaxed lover can send shivers down your spine just with one slow, deliberate touch. Focusing on your hands as you touch someone \u2013 and thinking about how you want them to feel \u2013 makes for confident, sexy contact.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Learn to ask<\/h2>\n\n\n\n


Everyone\u2019s different. Everyone likes different things in the bedroom. And we\u2019re not mind readers \u2014 how will we know how to satisfy our partners, unless we ask? Saying, \u201cHow does that feel?\u201d every now and again gives your lover a chance to guide you in what they like\u2026or to pay you a compliment<\/strong>, if what you\u2019re doing is perfect. It\u2019s the only way we really know we\u2019re getting it right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I recommend this, people sometimes worry that talking during sex will spoil the mood. But it doesn\u2019t have to go that way. Whispering \u201cHow does that feel?\u201d in someone\u2019s ear, can be sexy, intimate, and totally appropriate if you do it right.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, sometimes we\u2019re afraid that if we ask, we\u2019ll be told we\u2019re doing something wrong. But if she doesn\u2019t like that helicopter move, you\u2019re doing with your dick, wouldn\u2019t it be better to find out now rather than afterward?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Ditch the script<\/h2>\n\n\n\n


The standard way we do sex is pretty darn repetitive. For hetero folks, it goes something like kissing, touching, getting naked, oral sex, intercourse, orgasm. This is the \u2018standard script\u2019 that we see in movies (and porn). Most of us follow the script every time we get laid because it\u2019s safe and predictable. Unfortunately, predictable can get boring \u2014 and when you\u2019re using the same moves every time, your brain tends to switch off. As we discussed earlier, that\u2019s not a winning situation.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

To have great sex, you need to be able to do what feels right at the moment. Whether it\u2019s a massage, a three-hour make-out session, or just a conversation about how you both like to be touched, ditching the script means you\u2019ll never have boring sex.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I do this by thinking, \u2018What do I REALLY feel like doing right now?\u2019 It could be a kiss, a type of touch, a position I really enjoy, or something as simple as stopping a moment to catch my breath. I\u2019ll always check in with my partner to find out whether they agree. Then, whether we go at it in front of the mirror or slather ourselves in massage oil, I feel confident it\u2019s something we both want.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

There you have it \u2014 five fave skills for sexual prowess! It\u2019s not complicated, but it does take practice. Often, we\u2019re used to doing the same stuff all the time, and it might feel awkward at first to try something new. But believe, the practice is worth it.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Ever wondered what being a sex god (or goddess) is all about? If you watch a lot of porn, you might think it\u2019s about having a ten-inch dick and being able to go for hours. If you read lady magazines, you may think it\u2019s being able to give the perfect blow job. If, like me, … <\/p>\n

Continuar leyendo “5 simple sexual skills to have”<\/span><\/a><\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4],"tags":[7],"class_list":["post-286","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-sex-knowledge","tag-sex-skills"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/ertantric.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/286","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/ertantric.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/ertantric.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ertantric.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ertantric.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=286"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/ertantric.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/286\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/ertantric.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=286"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ertantric.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=286"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/ertantric.com\/es\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=286"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}