Threesomes: Exploring and Understanding Your Emotions and Desires.
Threesomes are one of the most common sexual fantasies, capturing the imagination of many people with the allure of exploration and heightened pleasure. However, transitioning this fantasy into reality can be complex, requiring careful consideration of emotions, boundaries, and communication. Navigating your feelings and fantasies around threesomes involves understanding both your desires and potential challenges, ensuring that any decision made is respectful and consensual for all parties involved.
Talk with your partner (seriously)
The first step in exploring the idea of a threesome is to have an open and honest conversation with your partner. Discussing your fantasies can be a vulnerable experience, and it’s essential to approach the topic with sensitivity. Express your curiosity and listen to your partner’s thoughts and feelings without judgment. This dialogue can help you gauge each other’s comfort levels and establish a foundation of trust and mutual respect.
It’s crucial to recognize that the fantasy of a threesome can be very different from the reality.
Fantasies are controlled environments in our minds where everything goes perfectly, but real-life scenarios involve emotions, dynamics, and the unpredictable nature of human interactions.
No pressure
Before proceeding, consider the potential impact on your relationship. Are both partners genuinely interested, or is one feeling pressured? Ensuring that both parties have an equal say and are enthusiastic about the experience is key to avoiding resentment or discomfort.
Setting clear boundaries and expectations is another important aspect of navigating a threesome. Discuss what is and isn’t acceptable behavior, and be explicit about your limits. This might include deciding on whom the third person will be, what kind of sexual activities will take place, and how you will communicate during and after the encounter. These conversations can prevent misunderstandings and ensure everyone feels safe and respected.
Choosing the right third person for a threesome is a critical decision. Some couples prefer to invite a stranger to avoid complications, while others might feel more comfortable with someone they know and trust. Regardless of the choice, the third person must be fully informed and consent to the arrangement. They should be aware of the established boundaries and feel comfortable voicing their limits and desires.
Emotional preparedness is also essential. Jealousy and insecurity are natural human emotions that can arise during a threesome, even if you believe you’re fully prepared. It’s important to be honest with yourself and your partner about these feelings. Discuss how you might handle jealousy or discomfort if they come up during the experience. Having a plan for checking in with each other and providing emotional support can help mitigate negative feelings.
Post-Threesome Reflection: Strengthening Your Relationship Through Open Communication
After the threesome, take the time to debrief and talk about the experience. This can help both partners process their feelings and understand the impact of the encounter on their relationship. Open communication can strengthen your bond and address any lingering emotions or concerns. It’s also an opportunity to celebrate what went well and discuss what could be improved for future experiences if you choose to have them.
It’s worth noting that threesomes are not for everyone, and that’s perfectly okay. Some couples might find that fantasy is better left in the realm of imagination, and there’s no pressure to act on it if it doesn’t feel right. What’s most important is that both partners feel heard, respected, and comfortable with their sexual choices.
Exploring the feelings and fantasies around threesomes requires open communication, clear boundaries, and emotional honesty. Whether you decide to pursue this fantasy or keep it as an enticing notion, the conversations and mutual understanding you develop along the way can deepen your connection and enrich your sexual relationship.
Cuando hablamos de ‘servicio sexual’ nos referimos a contratar, ya sea una escort, una acompañante, una prostituta (o en su caso, un guapo gigoló) o bien, masajes u otros servicios de índole erótica.
¿Y por qué contratarlo? Como lo dije al inicio de este post: por salud y paz mental.
Dejando de lado, por supuesto, los prejuicios que hay alrededor de este tipo de actividades, donde se estigmatiza al proveedor del servicio sexual (y ni se diga a quien lo contrata) no hay que negar que las ventajas son muchas. Te dejas de dramas y pagas exactamente por lo que estás buscando sexualmente, con certeza y sin jugar a complicadas adivinanzas sociales y personales.
No hay condiciones, ataduras ni compromiso.
Es una forma libre de estrés de mantener tus opciones de citas abiertas a tantas personas (o servicios eróticos) como desees sin sentimiento de culpa, y es una oportunidad de experimentar nuevas emociones y encontrar otras que se adapten aún mejor a ti.
Vivir la fantasía
A este redondo mundo venimos a ser felices, satisfacer nuestras mundanas necesidades es una de las cosas que hay que hacer para tal cometido. Si hay algo que te apetece hacer con alguien o que nunca tuviste la oportunidad de hacer con una pareja anterior, una cita con un proveedor de servicios sexuales es tu oportunidad de hacerlo realidad, siempre que sea seguro, legal y que te presten el servicio solicitado.
Obtienes lo que buscas
El proveedor de servicios sexual está ahí para ofrecerte compañía, consuelo, afecto y una escucha que te haga sentir mejor contigo mismo y te ayude a olvidar un rato tus problemas mediante su servicio.
Puedes expresar libremente tus opiniones, sentimientos, pensamientos e incluso secretos personales que te incomode contar a tus seres más queridos, y no serás juzgado.
Obtienes lo que buscas sexualmente con certeza y sin jugar a complicados juegos de adivinanzas sociales y personales. No hay ataduras ni juegos sociales que te confundan. Sabes en lo que te estás metiendo y hay un final claro.
La advertencia: No hay atracción sexual genuina.
Ellos están haciendo un trabajo y tú eres un cliente. Si es un buen proveedor, te sentirás muy bien, mientras que ellos sentirán que están haciendo un buen trabajo. Si te permites encariñarte emocionalmente, sufrirás síntomas similares a los de una ruptura, ya que ellas(os) no se encariñan. No pueden encariñarse con un cliente. Tú eres solo “otro cliente”.
Estás comprando un servicio. Tus finanzas se transfieren a servicios sexuales, nada más. Los profesionales del sexo no están obligados a excitarte sexualmente. Lo intentarán, pero si no lo consiguen, no tienen la obligación de seguir intentándolo. Adoptan un comportamiento sexual, pero no garantizan el resultado, ello depende de ti.
En una palabra, busca un proveedor de servicios sexuales para obtener una liberación sexual, no esperes una “experiencia de relación”. Solo es la persona adecuada a tus necesidades sexuales en ese momento. Punto. Negocia por adelantado tus expectativas para evitar decepciones. Tus expectativas y las expectativas del proveedor son a veces diferentes. Asegúrate de ser lo más minucioso posible en los acuerdos y reglas del servicio para evitar malentendidos. Pero deja también algo de misterio en cuanto a lo que ocurre exactamente. A veces resulta mejor dejarse sorprender; simplemente mantente en la misma sintonía.
Mientras mantengas prácticas sexuales seguras con personas de confianza, en general todo irá bien.
Sé consciente de las leyes de servicios de esta índole de tu zona, y ten cuidado si vas a ver a una trabajadora o trabajador sexual; intenta ver a la misma persona o máximo a dos.
Ya sé qué dije anteriormente que “los que quiera” pero, aunque es divertido estar como en trampolín probando cuanto servicio te encuentres. Siempre asegúrate que sea un servicio profesional, aunque solo tener uno o máximo dos proveedores frecuentes del servicio es más recomendable porque es más seguro así.
Sin prejuicios
Olvídate de las reglas sociales, esto se trata de ti, la realidad es que no todos obtenemos lo que queremos en casa y la mayoría de las veces – y entonces para evitar el colapso mental – es más sano buscarlo afuera; esto suena fuerte, pero es realidad pura.
Y no se trata de traicionar al ser querido del otro lado de tu cama, esto puede sonar egoísta, pero de lo que se trata es de no traicionarte a ti mismo.
Que no se vuelva adicción
El sexo está bien dentro o fuera del matrimonio y la adicción sexual puede darse en parejas casadas. El error, más que decir —pecado— es dejar que el sexo controle tu vida en lugar de ser tú quien la controle. La clave de la felicidad es el equilibrio y la armonía y no volverse no solo adicto al sexo, sino también a la comida, el trabajo, los juegos o cualquier otra cosa.
Y es que pecar no tiene nada que ver con Dios, tiene que ver con protegerte de ti mismo.
Cada actividad acaba teniendo su jerga y el lenguaje del sexo no es ajeno. Si, seguramente siempre pensamos que lo sabemos todo por qué, pues hablamos muchas guarrerías con los amigos o porque vemos algo de porno, pero siempre, siempre hay algo que aprender.
He aquí algunos de los conceptos para entender un poco más sobre el tema del sexo, términos que no vienen en los libros de sexología porque son producto más que nada de lenguaje aprendido por ahí a base de calle, cama y experiencia.
Beso Blanco
Práctica sexual en el que la chica mantiene en su boca el semen del hombre tras eyacular, y luego lo comparte con él en forma de beso. Es minoritario y el nombre lo dice todo. Una gran proporción de las mujeres no acepta juegos con el semen en la boca con cualquier ente masculino y tampoco a muchos hombres les gusta saborear su propio esperma. Pero ya se sabe que para todo hay gente.
Beso Negro
Es la estimulación con la lengua del ano de tu compañero(a) sexual. Entendemos que a quienes les gusta disfrutar de esta práctica tienden a estar depilados para maximizar sensaciones. El mito hetero dicta que con el culo no se juega, porque puedes pasarte al “lado oscuro”. Lo cierto es que no es una práctica muy demandada, pero sí tiene sus adeptos.
Corbata Francesa
Felación mientras el pene del hombre se encuentra entre los senos de la mujer. Podríamos decir que es una mezcla entre cubana y francés. Lo de la corbata es bastante figurativo.
Chica Curvy
Mujer con curvas y figura proporcionada, con una talla intermedia. A veces es eufemismo de mujer con un poco de sobrepeso. Un anglicanismo más.
Chica Teen
Que aparenta estar en los últimos momentos de la adolescencia (18 o 19 años). NO menores de edad, aclárese. No es por el rostro, se entiende que esta definición aplica más al cuerpo. Cuerpo de mujer estilizado y más bien longilíneo, delgado.
Crossdresser
Hay muchos tipos de diversidad sexual, los que te imagines. Para nombrarlos incluso aún nos faltan unas cuantas letras del abecedario, si saben a lo que me refiero. Las crossdressers son hombres que se visten de mujer sólo en ciertas ocasiones, pero viven sus vidas como varones, por lo que se diferencian de travestis y transexuales; ah, y se comportan femeninos para el sexo.
Cubana
Consiste en colocar el pene entre los senos de la mujer y ésta ir moviéndolos con el fin de proporcionar estimulación al miembro masculino. Como nota cultural podemos añadir que en algunos países esta misma práctica es denominada “rusa” o bien con otros nombres. Al parecer cada quien lo llama a según le acomoda la nacionalidad. Sin comentarios.
Ducha erótica
Ducha compartida con juegos de caricias y estimulación con tu pareja. Hay riesgo de resbalarse y romperse algo, pero da gustito. Y hay cierta garantía de higiene, sobre todo al final. No todas las duchas tienen el espacio necesario. También se suele utilizar sobre todo como estimulación inicial.
Dúplex
Práctica sexual que involucra a dos mujeres y un solo hombre. Las dos chicas no realizan sexo entre ellas, sólo comparten la estimulación hacia su compañero masculino.
Dúplex lésbico
Práctica sexual que involucra a dos mujeres y únicamente un hombre. Las chicas también hacen sexo entre ellas, además de con el chico.
Fiesta Blanca
La combinación de consumo de cocaína y prácticas sexuales.
Francés
Equivalente de felación, sexo oral hacia el hombre. Curiosamente, los de este lado del mundo nos referimos al beso francés cuando hacemos morreos con la lengua. Aquí asociamos Francia al sexo oral. No sabemos el origen, pero seguro que París, como gran ciudad bohemia por antonomasia, pudo tener algo que ver.
Francés natural
Felación sin usar preservativo. El sexo oral sin protección no es un gran peligro para la transmisión de VIH en condiciones normales, pero sí para otro tipo de infecciones. En países como Alemania y Holanda ha sido objeto de debate su prohibición, incluso en la prostitución regulada.
Francés completo
Una felación hasta el final, es decir, hasta que el hombre llega al orgasmo y a la eyaculación. Resumiendo, que el sexo oral no es solo un episodio que puede devenir en masturbación más adelante. No queda definido sin con la eyaculación seguirá la estimulación o no.
Garganta profunda
La introducción del pene total (o muy profunda) en la boca de tu compañero(a). La introducción profunda provoca ciertos reflejos de arcada que curiosamente resultan excitantes para algunos. El porno ha llenado internet de horas y horas de esta práctica.
GFE – Girl Friend Experience
Modalidad de servicio que una prostituta ofrece, cuya característica es la inclusión de un comportamiento actuando ella como novia o pareja del cliente. A medias, entre el trato cercano, besos y cierto grado de petting. Es decir, caricias progresivas y un abordaje no muy alejado del encuentro sexual. Aunque parezca curioso, algunas prostitutas prefieren un rol claramente sexualizado en sus contactos para separar su personalidad real de las interacciones con sus clientes.
Griego
Es el nombre que se le da al sexo anal. Sabemos que en el mundo clásico de la antigua Grecia, la homosexualidad estaba bastante extendida, podríamos inferir que la denominación proviene de la práctica homosexual por excelencia. Aunque cabe aclarar, según fuentes antropológicas, que los griegos no eran homosexuales. Pero tampoco eran heterosexuales. El único término que existe en nuestra lengua para definir la identidad sexual de los atenienses es el de ‘bisexual’.
Masaje cuerpo a cuerpo
Es un tipo de masaje erótico que consiste en restregar el cuerpo de la mujer sobre el hombre; en inglés “body-body”. La interacción es inevitablemente mayor que en otros masajes en los que la estimulación podría ser solo manual. Para el contacto en movimiento es igualmente necesaria la presencia de aceite, crema hidratante o algún tipo de gel.
Masaje Lingam
Práctica sexual tántrica orientada a la estimulación del pene. En términos tántricos, un lingam es mucho más que una masturbación. De hecho, se supone que ni siquiera el orgasmo es el objetivo principal. Los videos de internet enseñan que en algo que parecía clásico se ha logrado innovar mucho. El aceite, los movimientos y diferentes técnicas han redescubierto los placeres de la estimulación manual. Quizá uno de los incentivos es su bajo riesgo de contagio de ITS y la posibilidad de establecer un espacio entre estimulador y estimulado.
Masaje Nuru
Es una técnica de masaje de cuerpo completo en la que ambas partes se cubren completamente de gel de masaje de la cabeza a los pies y usan sus cuerpos para acariciar, frotar, hacer cosquillas, amasar, deslizar y acariciar el cuerpo de la otra persona. Es un éxito dentro del sexo de pago porque no todo el mundo dispone de un espacio para embadurnarse de geles o aceites y no parecer un pervertido. Tampoco los moteles suelen facilitar algo así. En un centro de masajes es algo que se puede probar, y muchos repiten.
Masaje prostático
Estimulación de la glándula prostática masculina. Implica la penetración del ano con uno o varios dedos. Se ha hablado mucho de la próstata. Que si hay hombres que tienen orgasmos de otro nivel con ella o que si es el punto G masculino. En mi experiencia y echando mano de la frase cliché, es que no “todos los hombres son iguales”, al menos en ese aspecto. Lo cierto es que es una práctica demandada por sendos motivos. Y es que no a cualquier conocida le pides que te hurgue por ahí el primer día que logras intimar con ella.
Masaje Yoni
Es una práctica sexual que implica la estimulación manual y con masajes de la vagina y el clítoris. De nuevo, en clave tántrica, es algo mucho más allá de “dedear”. Las clientas que contratan estos servicios no son muchas, pero existen. Las parejas que acuden a masajes simultáneos sí son más numerosas, y para la mujer existe un menú de servicios y técnicas disponibles.
MILF
(Mother I’d Like to Fuck) es un acrónimo que significa: “Madre a la que me gustaría coger o follar”. Esta abreviatura se usa en inglés coloquial, en lugar de la frase completa.
Aunque aquí en México se confunde y les dicen así a las mujeres que son madres reales, el término se hizo popular gracias al porno y la película American Pie. La verdad es que se hace referencia a las mujeres que por la edad podrían ser la madre de quien usa el término y que son sexualmente deseables y atractivas. Es una manera más de decirles a las mujeres maduras. En los anuncios de prostitución se suele mentir un poco sobre la edad normalmente y es difícil saber las edades reales. Pero sí es constatable que hay oferta notable en rangos de edad por ahí o encima de los cincuenta años. Para gustos hay colores, cada vez envejecemos mejor si te cuidas y además tomemos en cuenta que la experiencia aporta valores extra a la sexualidad.
Squirt o squirting:
La expulsión de una cantidad variable de fluido desde la vulva durante el orgasmo de la mujer. El porno se ha encargado de democratizar un fenómeno que hace años parecía un misterio. El fluido expulsado es más similar a las lágrimas o al suero sanguíneo que a la orina. Al ser un fenómeno relativamente minoritario entre las mujeres, para algunos hombres resulta ser un misterio. El porno se ha encargado de mostrarlo, pero pocas lo han experimentado y pocos lo han visto realmente.
Strap-on
Es un consolador diseñado para ser usado (por lo general montado en un arnés) en actos sexuales para penetrar al hombre por vía anal u oral. También utilizados por mujeres hacia mujeres. El debate está servido. Si te gusta ser penetrado por una mujer, ¿significa que eres menos hetero que otros? Seguramente sí, pero nadie te quita lo bailado. Algunas prostitutas lo anuncian como servicio porque saben que tiene su público y esas son de las pocas practicas sexuales que no puedes hacer con una cita cualquiera.
Términos sexuales hay muchos. En general, se retroalimentan de innovaciones, fantasías y nuevas variantes que a veces añaden un nuevo nombre al acervo. El sexo es por naturaleza transgresor y vive de la innovación, ya que lo repetitivo y conocido acaba generando desinterés. Mientras tanto conozcámoslos y usémoslos. Aprovechemos antes de que sean estigmatizados o incluso ilegalizados. En estos tiempos de derechos y libertades coartadas que nos recuerdan a La inquisición Española, nunca se sabe.
Each activity ends up having its own gibberish, and the language of sex is not the exception. Yes, surely we always think we know everything because we use sometimes dirty talk with friends or because we watch some porn, but there is always something new to learn.
Here are some of the concepts to understand a little more about the subject of sex. Terms that do not come in the dictionary or the sexology books because they are product more than anything of language learned out there based on bedtime experiences.
White Kiss
Sexual practice in which the girl keeps the man’s semen in her mouth after ejaculating, and then shares it with him in the form of a kiss. It’s a minority and the name says it all. A large proportion of women do not accept games with semen in the mouth of any male, and many men do not like to taste their own sperm. But as I always say: there are people for everything.
Black Kiss
It is the stimulation with the tongue of your sexual partner’s anus. We understand that those who like to enjoy this practice tend to be shaved to maximize sensations. The hetero myth dictates that you don’t play with your ass, because you can go to the “dark side”. The truth is that it is not a highly demanded practice, but it does have its followers.
French Tie
Fellatio while the man’s penis is between the woman’s breasts. We could say that it is a mix between Cuban and French. The tie thing is quite figurative.
Curvy Girl
Woman with curves and a proportionate figure, with an intermediate size. Sometimes it is a euphemism for a slightly overweight woman. One more Anglicanism.
Teen Girl
Who appears to be in the last moments of adolescence (18 or 19 years old). NO minors, clarify. It is not because of the face, it is understood that this definition applies more to the body. Stylized woman’s body and rather long, thin.
Crossdresser
There are many types of sexual diversity, the ones you can imagine. To name them even though we are still missing a few letters of the alphabet if you know what I mean. Crossdressers are men who dress as women only on certain occasions but live their lives as men, so they differ from transvestites and transsexuals; oh, and they behave feminine for sex.
Cubana
It consists of placing the penis between the woman’s breasts, and she moves them in order to provide stimulation to the male member. As a cultural note, we can add that in some countries, this same practice is called “Russian” or other names. Apparently, everyone calls it according to their nationality. No comments.
Erotic shower
Shared shower with games of caresses and stimulation with your partner. There is a risk of slipping and breaking something, but it’s nice. And there is a certain guarantee of hygiene, especially at the end. Not all showers have the necessary space. It is also usually used above all as initial stimulation.
Duplex
Sexual practice involving two women and one man. The two girls do not have sex with each other, they only share the stimulation towards their male partner.
Lesbian Duplex
Sexual practice involving two women and one man. The girls also have sex with each other as well as with the guy.
White party
The combination of cocaine consumption and sexual practices.
French
The equivalent of fellatio, oral sex towards the man. Curiously, those of us on this side of the world refer to the French kiss when we play with our tongues. Here we associate France with oral sex. We do not know the origin, but surely Paris, as the great bohemian city par excellence, could have had something to do with it.
Natural French
Fellatio without using a condom. Unprotected oral sex is not a great danger for HIV transmission under normal conditions, but it is for other types of infections. In countries such as Germany and the Netherlands, its prohibition has been the subject of debate, even in regulated prostitution.
Full Blowjob
Fellatio until the end, that is, until the man reaches orgasm and ejaculation. In short, oral sex is not just an episode that can turn into masturbation later on. It is not defined if the ejaculation will continue the stimulation or not.
Deep Throat
The introduction of the total penis (or very deep) in the mouth of your partner. The deep introduction causes certain gagging reflexes that are curiously exciting for some. Porn has filled the internet with hours and hours of this practice.
GFE – Girlfriend Experience
Modality of service that a prostitute offers, whose characteristic is the inclusion of a behavior acting as the client’s girlfriend or partner. Halfway between close treatment, kisses, and a certain degree of petting. That is progressive caresses and an approach not far removed from the sexual encounter. Although it seems curious, some prostitutes prefer a clearly sexualized role in their contacts to separate their real personality from the interactions with their clients.
Greek
It is the name given to anal sex. We know that in the classical world of Ancient Greece, homosexuality was quite widespread, we could infer that the denomination comes from the homosexual practice par excellence. Although it should be clarified, according to anthropological sources, that the Greeks were not homosexuals. But they weren’t straight, either. The only term that exists in our language to define the sexual identity of the Athenians is bisexual.
Body-body massage
It’s a type of erotic massage that consists of rubbing the woman’s body on the man. The interaction is inevitably greater than in other massages, where the stimulation could only be manual. For contact in motion, the presence of oil, moisturizing cream or some type of gel is equally necessary.
Lingam massage
Tantric sexual practice aimed at stimulating the penis. In tantric terms, a lingam is much more than masturbation. In fact, even orgasm is not supposed to be the main goal. Internet videos show that in something that seemed classic, much innovation has been achieved. Oil, movements, and different techniques have rediscovered the pleasures of manual stimulation. Perhaps one of the incentives is its low risk of STI infection and the possibility of establishing a space between the person who stimulates the massage and the person who receives it.
Nuru Massage
It is a full-body massage technique where both parties are completely covered in massage gel from head to toe and use their bodies to caress, rub, tickle, knead, slide and caress the body of the other person. It is a success within paid sex because not everyone has a space to smear themselves with gels or oils and not look like a pervert. Nor do motels usually provide something like this. In a massage center, it is something that can be tried, and many users repeat it.
Prostate massage
Stimulation of the male prostate gland. It involves the penetration of the anus with one or several fingers. Much has been said about the prostate. That if there are men who have orgasms of another level with it, or if it is the male G-spot. In my experience and using the cliché phrase, is that not “all men are the same”, at least in that aspect. The truth is that it is a demanded practice and for the same reasons. And you don’t ask any stranger you just meet to urge you around there on the first date.
Yoni Massage
It is a sexual practice that involves manual stimulation and massage of the vagina and clitoris. Again, in a tantric sense, it is something far beyond “fingering”. The female clients who hire these services are not many, but they do exist. Couples who attend simultaneous massages are more numerous, and for women, there is a menu of services and techniques available.
MILF (Mother I’d Like to Fuck)
Although here in México it is confusing, and they call the term to those women that are real mothers, the term became popular thanks to porn and the movie American Pie. The truth is that it refers to women who by age could be the mother of the person who uses the term, and who are sexually desirable and attractive. It is one more way to call a mature woman. In prostitution advertisements, they usually lie a bit about their age, and it is difficult to know the real ages. But it is verifiable that there is a notable offer in age ranges above fifty years. For tastes there are colors, we age better every time if we take care of ourselves, and also the experience brings extra value to sexuality.
Squirt or squirting
The expulsion of a variable amount of fluid from the vulva during the woman’s orgasm. Porn has been responsible for democratizing a phenomenon that seemed like a mystery years ago. The expelled fluid is more similar to tears or blood serum than urine. Being a relative minority phenomenon among women, for some men it turns out to be a mystery, porn has been in charge of showing it, but few have experienced it and few others have actually seen it.
Strap on
It’s a dildo designed to be used (usually mounted on a harness) in sexual acts to penetrate the man anally or orally. Also used by women towards women. The debate is served. If you like being penetrated by a woman, does that mean you are less straight than others? Surely yes, but nobody takes away from you the experience. Some prostitutes advertise it as a service because they know it has its audience, and you can’t do it with just any date.
There are many sexual terms. In general, they feed on innovations, fantasies, and new variants that sometimes add a new name to the heritage. Sex is by nature transgressive and lives on innovation, since what is repetitive and known ends up generating disinterest. In the meantime, let’s get to know them and use them. Let’s take advantage before they are stigmatized or even outlawed in these times of limited rights and freedoms that remind us of the Spanish Inquisition. You never know.
There’s a naked truth about nude or clothing-optional resorts.
Walking naked in front of strangers can feel weird at first, but it is something that everyone at some point of our existence must experience, believe what I tell you.
A few weeks ago, due to work and the demands of destiny, I had to go visit a nudist resort in Cancún.
For someone like me this is rare, I have not always been a badly behaved girl, and my resume is not as vast in this area as I would like. My experiences are reduced to my years in art school, wherein the nude anatomical drawing classes, the pupils had to take turns modeling for the rest of the class, even with the empty pockets to hire a professional model sometimes, we could not offend to the muses and copying nudes from books, no sir, so we had to pose as the creator threw us into this world in the pursuit of learning.
My other experience was when I went to a nudist beach that we visited because of curiosity in a road trip, a day in which it was so cold that I just wanted to put on my jacket again and forget the experience. Also, I think that doesn’t count since there was hardly anyone in that secluded place.
I soon realized that, regardless of my resume of nude experiences, being naked in such a sexually charged place turned out to be much more challenging and, in turn, I admit, it took me out of my comfort zone.
A bit of the rules at these resorts
Guests have the option of staying on the “nude” or “clothing optional” side of the resort. The place requires topless nudity at all times. In the “optional” area, guests can use as much (or as little) as they like. However, there is one rule: Nipples and genitals must be covered in dining areas. You don’t want to confuse papayas and eggplants.
People who frequent these places come from all lifestyles. Singles and couples visit these places because they want to be in an open-minded, adults-only environment. In some cases (on the clothing-optional side), they may never take their clothes off, which is fine. Then there are those who are into the “lifestyle” (also known as swingers), they can live out their fantasies, no matter how “mild or wild” they may be. Still, others may simply be drawn to the resort’s bare surroundings and remain strictly monogamous. That’s fine too. Regardless of what people want to explore, nude resorts provide a non-judgmental environment for people to seek pleasure, all with consent and full respect for each other’s bodies, of course.
Discovering new sexual horizons
Until now, my sexual endeavors had been tied to specific social events and planned scenarios. Part of the success of these places -as a frequent user I met told me- is the idea and the sweet freedom of being able to have a spontaneous orgy in your room, receive oral sex in a pool lounger, or have literal sex in a shared jacuzzi any time. You feel like a child in a very (erotic) candy store tempted to try all the flavors of fun.
You can also leave the place as virgin as you arrived because if you don’t want to interact and just want to enjoy the atmosphere, that’s fine too.
Still, after hearing that, I feigned at least a little restraint since I was “at work” during the visit, so I kept as low a profile as possible for the first few days. However, as days went by all that changed, my stress disappeared, my inner sexual self was able to properly shine and I was hooked, I was able to make platonic friends, find fascinating people, and a big part of that is spending time naked with insightful people; related, involved or not in something sexual.
You cannot believe that you are at the pool bar with tequila in hand talking about the weather, politics, business, soccer, debating some interesting topic, or any trifle being totally naked without anyone caring, all within an environment of total respect.
Enjoy and make the experience yours, that’s what it’s all about
While it may take some time for you to get comfortable with the ever-present displays of sexual affection around you, you eventually come to recognize and may come to like these kinds of places.
You can be naked (or not), wear glitter on your nipples 24/7, dress up in outrageous costumes for theme nights, and discover your sexually fearless self without judging or shaming others. These escapades can make you feel strong and sexy and give you a boost of self-confidence.
I had never seen so many penises and vaginas together, beautifully tanned bodies, old bodies full of experiences, operated busts, natural breasts, small and large, tattoos and uncovered scars, gym-shaped bodies, and others not so much.
Now for me, the concept of a normal vacation has totally changed.
The point is that the experience is much more than sex. It’s about being accepted for who you are without judgment and having the freedom to explore your fantasies. Throughout my stay, I was surrounded by open-minded, warm, and welcoming strangers who made me feel like I belong. These free spirits come from different parts of the world, from different socio-economic backgrounds, religious beliefs, and political views. You can meet doctors, politicians, mothers of families, well, even some sweet grannies were out there. The common denominator is shared respect and a sense of open-mindedness.
Regardless of everyone’s history, race, appearance, or sexual orientation, clothing-optional or nude resorts offer a place to feel accepted for who you are.
Getting naked in front of strangers is a great equalizer. And that is a naked truth.
Ever wondered what being a sex god (or goddess) is all about?
If you watch a lot of porn, you might think it’s about having a ten-inch dick and being able to go for hours. If you read lady magazines, you may think it’s being able to give the perfect blow job. If, like me, have had the fortune to have more about sex experiences, it’s easy to assume that sexual superstardom is only reserved for people who are young, hot, and able to bend their bodies into all sorts of unlikely shapes, like a multi-flexible yoga teacher. Or knowing mystical sexual secrets, like a Tantra goddess.
But I’ve started to think differently, thanks to my work as an erotic masseuse.
This job is a bit like working in a restaurant or bank — I meet people from all ways of life. Young and old, rich and poor, hot and not. I’ve gotten naked with just about every personality and body type. I’ve spent time with men, women, and couples. And I’ve learned that the people who rock between the sheets aren’t always the ones we expect.
Turns out, the people who are good at sex aren’t necessarily the young, attractive, or exceptionally bendy. The real winners are the people with skills… Not mystical knowledge or science degrees, just basic stuff that they’ve learned and practiced.
So, based on that, I share with you 5 simple sex skills according (to me) to have for being a great lay.
1. Remember that we’re all winging it
Feeling anxious at the thought of getting naked with someone? Here’s some good news – your date probably feels the same.
Whenever I start feeling out of my depth, I remind myself that it’s the same for everyone. We’re all scared. We’re all insecure. Furthermore, we all worry about doing or saying the wrong thing. Chances are, your partner is just as nervous as you in the bedroom.
2. Slow Down
When it comes to sex, it’s easy to assume the goal is simply getting off. But when we rush to the orgasm bit, we miss out on lots of other fun stuff along the way. Worse, trying to rush means we often become distracted from what we’re doing. If you’re mentally re-hashing the conversation you had over dinner or worrying about whether you’ll get your partner off, you might not be fully focused on the task at hand.
So, slow down, take a deep breath, and look your partner in the eyes. It only takes a few seconds… but it allows you to get out of your head and start concentrating on your body. It also creates a sense of connection with your date, so you stay in tune with each other.
Try it. You’ll see what I mean.
3. Touch with purpose
The way we touch other people’s bodies makes a huge difference. If you’re not concentrating, you might be touching your partner in a way that’s not sexy…grabby, nervous touch rarely feels good.
I see this most often at work when I meet someone who hasn’t had sex in a while or hasn’t had much experience. Sometimes they’re so excited that they end up trying to do everything at once. It’s like being tickled when you really want to be hugged — it just doesn’t feel right!
On the other hand, a relaxed lover can send shivers down your spine just with one slow, deliberate touch. Focusing on your hands as you touch someone – and thinking about how you want them to feel – makes for confident, sexy contact.
4. Learn to ask
Everyone’s different. Everyone likes different things in the bedroom. And we’re not mind readers — how will we know how to satisfy our partners, unless we ask? Saying, “How does that feel?” every now and again gives your lover a chance to guide you in what they like…or to pay you a compliment, if what you’re doing is perfect. It’s the only way we really know we’re getting it right.
When I recommend this, people sometimes worry that talking during sex will spoil the mood. But it doesn’t have to go that way. Whispering “How does that feel?” in someone’s ear, can be sexy, intimate, and totally appropriate if you do it right.
Of course, sometimes we’re afraid that if we ask, we’ll be told we’re doing something wrong. But if she doesn’t like that helicopter move, you’re doing with your dick, wouldn’t it be better to find out now rather than afterward?
5. Ditch the script
The standard way we do sex is pretty darn repetitive. For hetero folks, it goes something like kissing, touching, getting naked, oral sex, intercourse, orgasm. This is the ‘standard script’ that we see in movies (and porn). Most of us follow the script every time we get laid because it’s safe and predictable. Unfortunately, predictable can get boring — and when you’re using the same moves every time, your brain tends to switch off. As we discussed earlier, that’s not a winning situation.
To have great sex, you need to be able to do what feels right at the moment. Whether it’s a massage, a three-hour make-out session, or just a conversation about how you both like to be touched, ditching the script means you’ll never have boring sex.
I do this by thinking, ‘What do I REALLY feel like doing right now?’ It could be a kiss, a type of touch, a position I really enjoy, or something as simple as stopping a moment to catch my breath. I’ll always check in with my partner to find out whether they agree. Then, whether we go at it in front of the mirror or slather ourselves in massage oil, I feel confident it’s something we both want.
There you have it — five fave skills for sexual prowess! It’s not complicated, but it does take practice. Often, we’re used to doing the same stuff all the time, and it might feel awkward at first to try something new. But believe, the practice is worth it.
I remember being a young girl, the first time I masturbated in front of a computer screen. We only had one computer at home, so I had to be careful and alone when doing it.
While pornography, with its intense depictions of sex, is nothing new, how we interact with it after the millennium is. Today, you don’t have to worry about collecting money from your parents and asking your friend over 18 to buy you a Playboy or Penthouse magazine.
The digital age has made it possible to get every type of pornography imaginable, for free, in a matter of seconds. It is therefore worth examining whether, as a generation raised in the glitter of internet porn, younger generations have related to their sexuality in fundamentally different ways.
The sexuality “teacher” at hand
“I was just trying to figure out how things would work out,” a millennial customer tells me. Most of the other kids at my school were virgins when we watched Xtube and Brazzers fill in the blanks left by school sex education programs.
“Pornography showed me what sex could be” and if I had any questions, the internet was there to answer.
If you watch any porn scene, there is the guy who sticks his penis in his partner’s vagina a bunch of times, and she just moans and screams … and then when you’re in bed with a real girl, you realize that things are a way more different.
Female actresses in straight porn are notoriously vocal, expressing satisfaction with their scene partners in exaggerated ways. While this is certainly a choice encouraged by directors, it can foster unrealistic expectations of sexual response.
It is in this capacity that online pornography can become a dangerous tool, a negligent educator feeding its viewer’s false descriptions of sex.
Young people naturally internalize what they see, especially if it is the only action they know. This can send the message that this type of behavior is acceptable without consent and, worse, that women expect it.
Who is porn made for?
Most of the videos seem to favor the fantasies of one gender over the other, and the women act as a vessel for the satisfaction of their male partners. In mainstream pornography, it is not unusual to see an actress choke on the actor’s penis while he yells “dirty whore” among other dirty expressions.
The artists involved likely planned this exchange, and this behavior would be fine if consent was reiterated on screen. However, it almost never is. And it is not likely that a young man, with an erection in hand while he watches this interaction on his laptop, is going to consider under judgment whether or not what he sees is correct, he just wants instant satisfaction.
If this is the case, is it possible that pornography is conditioning a generation of boys to believe that this dynamic is the norm and that a generation of girls expect it?
While not all porn features male-favored circumstances, female-centric content is less popular with male viewers.
But not everything is bad in pornography
For a generation going through puberty with a monitor available, the discovery of pornography often coincides with the discoveries of our bodies: to openly condemn pornography is to ignore a vital component of the sexual development of the new generations.
For many now, the erotic exploration begins in front of a computer or cell phone screen; our lust acting as a compass as we navigate the hidden depths of the world web. This demystified sex introduces many to future problems that they will have to face, and in some cases, it also helps a lot to discover their sexuality and for some, even their sexual orientation.
While older generations (and even some of our own ranks of age) will never tire of labeling today’s youth as emotionally stunted, it seems that much of what this generation craves sexually is the truths of real-life sex. : messy and clumsy intimacy as we have all experienced at the beginning of our sexual lives, at least while they get the experience that only time gives.
Swinger Party /What you should know . Photo by Ibolya Toldi from Pexels
Many couples or singles have liked to enter this type of lifestyle. There are many reasons, maybe because you want to add “fresh activity” to your relationship, or perhaps if you are single and don’t want attachment of any kind this is a good practice, far from prejudices that there may be, I think it is a good practice to try at least once in your life, of course maintaining your emotional and physical integrity at all times.
What you need to know before attending a Swinger Event
Each lifestyle club will have its own set of rules but almost all follow the basic etiquette which I will lay out here.
Attire
It is important you care about how you are dressed. Hygiene is a must and nice clothes are important. There are situations where the male half has not shaved and he smells funny. This goes for both females and males. You need to attend these events knowing that you might possibly be intimate with someone so be prepared. Shave, wash your hair, brush your teeth and wear nice clothes, also depends on the place.
There are places that ask to be semi-naked since you enter, so finally, the top clothes don’t matter too much, however, use always really nice sexy underwear.
Have you ever heard people say “The woman decides”
In the swinger lifestyle, it is customary that the ladies begin a conversation with each other. When the ladies are comfortable then the possibility of “play” has more of a chance of happening and happening successfully.
Club Rules
Most clubs will have similar rules such as no cell phones, no photos, do not touch anyone, and do not invite yourself into a “play situation”. I
If play is partaking in a playroom and the door is open, it means they want to be watched but do not get so close you are breathing on them, and most important: no chatting.
Is there food or drinks?
Almost all clubs are BYOB and will provide mixers. Some will have snacks and some will even cater dinner.
Watch your alcohol Intake
No one wants to be intimate with a drunk. It is important to pace yourself and drink lots of water. You don’t want to create a bad reputation for yourself. Be careful with what you drink, It is important that you check the veracity of the club and who has invited you. The first time -and more if you are a woman- your safety is important; if it’s possible do not go alone and stay alert by checking your drink at all times.
Communication
You and your partner must be on the same page and agree for a “play” situation to occur. Also, discuss with each other any rules you have after the play session. You need to discuss what you enjoyed and did not. You don’t want to be involved in any drama so remember to leave arguments at home.
Exchanging personal information
Ok, this is different depending on the club. There are places where they ask you to use a fake name and never give your phone number to a couple you met at the club. However, in some high-end exclusive clubs, you can use your common sense there, and everyone wants to protect their privacy after all, so if you run into someone you want to see again, exchange information under caution. If you forget to do this and then contact the club owner, they will most likely pass your information on to the other couple. But the healthiest thing is to never give out personal information.
Hopefully, this will help you have a better understanding of what to expect; and what rules to follow when you do choose to embark on your first swinger party.
If you want to know more about swinger lifestyle, I suggest this publication by Victoria.
¿Has estado en una relación casual? Si ese es el caso, no estás solo(a).
Estudios muestran que muchas personas no se comprometen para evitar algún apego. No importa la razón que tengas para querer una relación de sexo casual; el hecho es que el sexo le puede sabor a tu vida. Si has decidido embarcarte en esta aventura con todo lo que conlleva, es buena idea desarrollar algunas reglas que debes seguir para evitar atarte e incluso sacarle el máximo partido a la relación.
Encuentra a la persona adecuada
En una relación sexual casual, encontrar a la persona adecuada tiene otro significado diferente al de una relación romántica. Recordemos que no estás buscando al Sr. o la Sra. Correcta. En cambio, estás buscando una persona con quien tener buen sexo y ya. Eso significa que debes omitir a tus amigos cercanos y colegas de oficina, ya que las cosas se ponen raras después. Necesitas conectarte con gente que no conoces muy bien. Incluso si eso no funciona, hay muchos sitios web de citas en línea para encuentros casuales.
Establece algunas reglas básicas
Aunque algunas reglas que parecen matar el disfrute de las relaciones sexuales casuales, es muy posible que lamentes después no poner algunas reglas desde el principio.
Mantente a salvo
Recuerda que el sexo casual no se trata de conseguir que todo sea casual, ¿verdad? No debes dejarte llevar por la emoción y olvidar lo importante que es tener relaciones sexuales protegidas. Cualquier sexo que practiques debe tener cero ataduras y estar SIEMPRE protegido. No importa si eres exclusivo o no; debes buscar diferentes formas de protegerte y proteger a tu pareja de las ETS y los embarazos no deseados. Si no estás segura(o) de cuál es el mejor método anticonceptivo, una charla con tu médico puede salvar el día y recibirás consejos relevantes.
Deja tus emociones atrás
Debes tener en cuenta que las relaciones sexuales casuales funcionan cuando ambas partes acuerdan dejar sus emociones a un lado. En la mayoría de los casos, ambos individuos saben por qué se reúnen para disfrutar del sexo. No te dejes engañar de que eso se convertirá en algo más duradero porque las posibilidades son; que ¡eso no pasará!. Dado que al pasar tiempo con la otra persona, es posible que a alguno de los dos termine por gustarle "de más" el otro. Ahí es donde las cosas comienzan a complicarse. Incluso si terminas desarrollando emociones, no sigas adelante y mucho menos se te salga una declaración del tipo “Te amo”.
Primero, necesitar tomar una ducha. Sólo, o con la (el) masajista, depende de tí, pero el agua es un excelente conductor de energía y la higiene es importante, no sólo para la masajista sino para sentirte agusto y seguro durante la sesión y es bajo el chorro del agua que desaparecen las primeras emociones negativas. A continuación, la masajista comenzará a amasar lentamente las áreas más problemáticas del cuerpo del cliente. El masaje erótico debe llevar al cliente al borde de la relajación completa cuando los sentimientos se agudizan al límite y cada toque comienza a excitarlo. Se trata de una lucha de contrarios, por un lado, relajación, por otro una fuerte excitación, que finalmente se traduce en un poderoso orgasmo.
El masaje erótico es todo un arte, una extraordinaria filosofía del amor. Debe realizarse de manera eficiente y hermosa. No solo los hombres pueden disfrutarlo, también las mujeres y la mitad de la humanidad… sugeriría yo. Lo principal son las ganas de disfrutar, relajarse, y poder sentir tu cuerpo. Después del proceso, no volverás a ser el mismo y podrás deshacerte de los complejos que te confundieron antes.
No está relacionado con el contacto sexual y no es sexo rudo primitivo, como algunos lo creen. Está dirigido al éxtasis sexual, que se consigue mediante caricias exquisitas y suaves. Además de los efectos beneficiosos para la salud, este procedimiento calma a una persona y, por lo tanto, contribuye positivamente a su componente emocional.
El ambiente siempre juega un papel importante en una sesión de masaje de relajación sin importar el lugar, si es en un salón o en la comodidad de su habitación o de un hotel, (el)la masajista debe intentar ofrecer un servicio al más alto nivel, lo que significa que el cliente ya está inmerso en el mundo de la atención y el cuidado desde el mismo umbral de la puerta. Un cómodo sofá o cama, luz tenue lo espera en la habitación. Nada debe distraer a la persona de recibir placer. Además, ofrece masajes de relajación para realizar, junto con algunas adiciones: Por ejemplo, si incluye elementos de masaje de próstata o vagina, entonces la relajación adquiere un significado completamente diferente, y las emociones de lo sucedido simplemente se dispararán.
Lo más interesante es que el masaje de relajación, diseñado para relajar a un hombre o una mujer, al mismo tiempo lo (la) excita. La eyaculación y el orgasmo son como el acorde final de toda la acción, la coronación de un éxtasis total, que algunos clientes no esperaban recibir.
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