The naked truth of the nude resorts

There’s a naked truth about nude or clothing-optional resorts.

Walking naked in front of strangers can feel weird at first, but it is something that everyone at some point of our existence must experience, believe what I tell you.

A few weeks ago, due to work and the demands of destiny, I had to go visit a nudist resort in Cancún.

For someone like me this is rare, I have not always been a badly behaved girl, and my resume is not as vast in this area as I would like. My experiences are reduced to my years in art school, wherein the nude anatomical drawing classes, the pupils had to take turns modeling for the rest of the class, even with the empty pockets to hire a professional model sometimes, we could not offend to the muses and copying nudes from books, no sir, so we had to pose as the creator threw us into this world in the pursuit of learning.

My other experience was when I went to a nudist beach that we visited because of curiosity in a road trip, a day in which it was so cold that I just wanted to put on my jacket again and forget the experience. Also, I think that doesn’t count since there was hardly anyone in that secluded place.

I soon realized that, regardless of my resume of nude experiences, being naked in such a sexually charged place turned out to be much more challenging and, in turn, I admit, it took me out of my comfort zone.

A bit of the rules at these resorts

Guests have the option of staying on the “nude” or “clothing optional” side of the resort. The place requires topless nudity at all times. In the “optional” area, guests can use as much (or as little) as they like. However, there is one rule: Nipples and genitals must be covered in dining areas. You don’t want to confuse papayas and eggplants.

People who frequent these places come from all lifestyles. Singles and couples visit these places because they want to be in an open-minded, adults-only environment. In some cases (on the clothing-optional side), they may never take their clothes off, which is fine. Then there are those who are into the “lifestyle” (also known as swingers), they can live out their fantasies, no matter how “mild or wild” they may be. Still, others may simply be drawn to the resort’s bare surroundings and remain strictly monogamous. That’s fine too. Regardless of what people want to explore, nude resorts provide a non-judgmental environment for people to seek pleasure, all with consent and full respect for each other’s bodies, of course.

Discovering new sexual horizons

Until now, my sexual endeavors had been tied to specific social events and planned scenarios. Part of the success of these places -as a frequent user I met told me- is the idea and the sweet freedom of being able to have a spontaneous orgy in your room, receive oral sex in a pool lounger, or have literal sex in a shared jacuzzi any time. You feel like a child in a very (erotic) candy store tempted to try all the flavors of fun.

You can also leave the place as virgin as you arrived because if you don’t want to interact and just want to enjoy the atmosphere, that’s fine too.

Still, after hearing that, I feigned at least a little restraint since I was “at work” during the visit, so I kept as low a profile as possible for the first few days. However, as days went by all that changed, my stress disappeared, my inner sexual self was able to properly shine and I was hooked, I was able to make platonic friends, find fascinating people, and a big part of that is spending time naked with insightful people; related, involved or not in something sexual.

You cannot believe that you are at the pool bar with tequila in hand talking about the weather, politics, business, soccer, debating some interesting topic, or any trifle being totally naked without anyone caring, all within an environment of total respect.

Enjoy and make the experience yours, that’s what it’s all about

While it may take some time for you to get comfortable with the ever-present displays of sexual affection around you, you eventually come to recognize and may come to like these kinds of places.

You can be naked (or not), wear glitter on your nipples 24/7, dress up in outrageous costumes for theme nights, and discover your sexually fearless self without judging or shaming others. These escapades can make you feel strong and sexy and give you a boost of self-confidence.

I had never seen so many penises and vaginas together, beautifully tanned bodies, old bodies full of experiences, operated busts, natural breasts, small and large, tattoos and uncovered scars, gym-shaped bodies, and others not so much.

Now for me, the concept of a normal vacation has totally changed.

The point is that the experience is much more than sex. It’s about being accepted for who you are without judgment and having the freedom to explore your fantasies. Throughout my stay, I was surrounded by open-minded, warm, and welcoming strangers who made me feel like I belong. These free spirits come from different parts of the world, from different socio-economic backgrounds, religious beliefs, and political views. You can meet doctors, politicians, mothers of families, well, even some sweet grannies were out there. The common denominator is shared respect and a sense of open-mindedness.

Regardless of everyone’s history, race, appearance, or sexual orientation, clothing-optional or nude resorts offer a place to feel accepted for who you are.

Getting naked in front of strangers is a great equalizer. And that is a naked truth.

5 simple sexual skills to have

Photo by Dainis Graveris on Unsplash

Ever wondered what being a sex god (or goddess) is all about?

If you watch a lot of porn, you might think it’s about having a ten-inch dick and being able to go for hours. If you read lady magazines, you may think it’s being able to give the perfect blow job. If, like me, have had the fortune to have more about sex experiences, it’s easy to assume that sexual superstardom is only reserved for people who are young, hot, and able to bend their bodies into all sorts of unlikely shapes, like a multi-flexible yoga teacher. Or knowing mystical sexual secrets, like a Tantra goddess.

But I’ve started to think differently, thanks to my work as an erotic masseuse.

This job is a bit like working in a restaurant or bank — I meet people from all ways of life. Young and old, rich and poor, hot and not. I’ve gotten naked with just about every personality and body type. I’ve spent time with men, women, and couples. And I’ve learned that the people who rock between the sheets aren’t always the ones we expect.

Turns out, the people who are good at sex aren’t necessarily the young, attractive, or exceptionally bendy. The real winners are the people with skills… Not mystical knowledge or science degrees, just basic stuff that they’ve learned and practiced.

So, based on that, I share with you 5 simple sex skills according (to me) to have for being a great lay.

1. Remember that we’re all winging it


Feeling anxious at the thought of getting naked with someone? Here’s some good news – your date probably feels the same.

Whenever I start feeling out of my depth, I remind myself that it’s the same for everyone. We’re all scared. We’re all insecure. Furthermore, we all worry about doing or saying the wrong thing. Chances are, your partner is just as nervous as you in the bedroom.

2. Slow Down

When it comes to sex, it’s easy to assume the goal is simply getting off. But when we rush to the orgasm bit, we miss out on lots of other fun stuff along the way. Worse, trying to rush means we often become distracted from what we’re doing. If you’re mentally re-hashing the conversation you had over dinner or worrying about whether you’ll get your partner off, you might not be fully focused on the task at hand.

So, slow down, take a deep breath, and look your partner in the eyes. It only takes a few seconds… but it allows you to get out of your head and start concentrating on your body. It also creates a sense of connection with your date, so you stay in tune with each other.

Try it. You’ll see what I mean.

3. Touch with purpose


The way we touch other people’s bodies makes a huge difference. If you’re not concentrating, you might be touching your partner in a way that’s not sexy…grabby, nervous touch rarely feels good.

I see this most often at work when I meet someone who hasn’t had sex in a while or hasn’t had much experience. Sometimes they’re so excited that they end up trying to do everything at once. It’s like being tickled when you really want to be hugged — it just doesn’t feel right!

On the other hand, a relaxed lover can send shivers down your spine just with one slow, deliberate touch. Focusing on your hands as you touch someone – and thinking about how you want them to feel – makes for confident, sexy contact.

4. Learn to ask


Everyone’s different. Everyone likes different things in the bedroom. And we’re not mind readers — how will we know how to satisfy our partners, unless we ask? Saying, “How does that feel?” every now and again gives your lover a chance to guide you in what they like…or to pay you a compliment, if what you’re doing is perfect. It’s the only way we really know we’re getting it right.

When I recommend this, people sometimes worry that talking during sex will spoil the mood. But it doesn’t have to go that way. Whispering “How does that feel?” in someone’s ear, can be sexy, intimate, and totally appropriate if you do it right.

Of course, sometimes we’re afraid that if we ask, we’ll be told we’re doing something wrong. But if she doesn’t like that helicopter move, you’re doing with your dick, wouldn’t it be better to find out now rather than afterward?

5. Ditch the script


The standard way we do sex is pretty darn repetitive. For hetero folks, it goes something like kissing, touching, getting naked, oral sex, intercourse, orgasm. This is the ‘standard script’ that we see in movies (and porn). Most of us follow the script every time we get laid because it’s safe and predictable. Unfortunately, predictable can get boring — and when you’re using the same moves every time, your brain tends to switch off. As we discussed earlier, that’s not a winning situation.

To have great sex, you need to be able to do what feels right at the moment. Whether it’s a massage, a three-hour make-out session, or just a conversation about how you both like to be touched, ditching the script means you’ll never have boring sex.

I do this by thinking, ‘What do I REALLY feel like doing right now?’ It could be a kiss, a type of touch, a position I really enjoy, or something as simple as stopping a moment to catch my breath. I’ll always check in with my partner to find out whether they agree. Then, whether we go at it in front of the mirror or slather ourselves in massage oil, I feel confident it’s something we both want.

There you have it — five fave skills for sexual prowess! It’s not complicated, but it does take practice. Often, we’re used to doing the same stuff all the time, and it might feel awkward at first to try something new. But believe, the practice is worth it.

Porn: The sexual teacher of the last generations

Pornography as the new teacher of sexuality…

I remember being a young girl, the first time I masturbated in front of a computer screen. We only had one computer at home, so I had to be careful and alone when doing it.

While pornography, with its intense depictions of sex, is nothing new, how we interact with it after the millennium is. Today, you don’t have to worry about collecting money from your parents and asking your friend over 18 to buy you a Playboy or Penthouse magazine.

The digital age has made it possible to get every type of pornography imaginable, for free, in a matter of seconds. It is therefore worth examining whether, as a generation raised in the glitter of internet porn, younger generations have related to their sexuality in fundamentally different ways.

The sexuality “teacher” at hand

“I was just trying to figure out how things would work out,” a millennial customer tells me. Most of the other kids at my school were virgins when we watched Xtube and Brazzers fill in the blanks left by school sex education programs.

“Pornography showed me what sex could be” and if I had any questions, the internet was there to answer.

If you watch any porn scene, there is the guy who sticks his penis in his partner’s vagina a bunch of times, and she just moans and screams … and then when you’re in bed with a real girl, you realize that things are a way more different.

Female actresses in straight porn are notoriously vocal, expressing satisfaction with their scene partners in exaggerated ways. While this is certainly a choice encouraged by directors, it can foster unrealistic expectations of sexual response.

It is in this capacity that online pornography can become a dangerous tool, a negligent educator feeding its viewer’s false descriptions of sex.

Young people naturally internalize what they see, especially if it is the only action they know. This can send the message that this type of behavior is acceptable without consent and, worse, that women expect it.

Who is porn made for?

Most of the videos seem to favor the fantasies of one gender over the other, and the women act as a vessel for the satisfaction of their male partners. In mainstream pornography, it is not unusual to see an actress choke on the actor’s penis while he yells “dirty whore” among other dirty expressions.

The artists involved likely planned this exchange, and this behavior would be fine if consent was reiterated on screen. However, it almost never is. And it is not likely that a young man, with an erection in hand while he watches this interaction on his laptop, is going to consider under judgment whether or not what he sees is correct, he just wants instant satisfaction.

If this is the case, is it possible that pornography is conditioning a generation of boys to believe that this dynamic is the norm and that a generation of girls expect it?

While not all porn features male-favored circumstances, female-centric content is less popular with male viewers.

But not everything is bad in pornography

For a generation going through puberty with a monitor available, the discovery of pornography often coincides with the discoveries of our bodies: to openly condemn pornography is to ignore a vital component of the sexual development of the new generations.

For many now, the erotic exploration begins in front of a computer or cell phone screen; our lust acting as a compass as we navigate the hidden depths of the world web. This demystified sex introduces many to future problems that they will have to face, and in some cases, it also helps a lot to discover their sexuality and for some, even their sexual orientation.

While older generations (and even some of our own ranks of age) will never tire of labeling today’s youth as emotionally stunted, it seems that much of what this generation craves sexually is the truths of real-life sex. : messy and clumsy intimacy as we have all experienced at the beginning of our sexual lives, at least while they get the experience that only time gives.

Attending a Swinger Party? Here’s what you should know

Swinger Party /What you should know . Photo by Ibolya Toldi from Pexels

Many couples or singles have liked to enter this type of lifestyle. There are many reasons, maybe because you want to add “fresh activity” to your relationship, or perhaps if you are single and don’t want attachment of any kind this is a good practice, far from prejudices that there may be, I think it is a good practice to try at least once in your life, of course maintaining your emotional and physical integrity at all times.

What you need to know before attending a Swinger Event

Each lifestyle club will have its own set of rules but almost all follow the basic etiquette which I will lay out here.

Attire

It is important you care about how you are dressed. Hygiene is a must and nice clothes are important. There are situations where the male half has not shaved and he smells funny. This goes for both females and males. You need to attend these events knowing that you might possibly be intimate with someone so be prepared. Shave, wash your hair, brush your teeth and wear nice clothes, also depends on the place.

There are places that ask to be semi-naked since you enter, so finally, the top clothes don’t matter too much, however, use always really nice sexy underwear.

Have you ever heard people say “The woman decides”

In the swinger lifestyle, it is customary that the ladies begin a conversation with each other. When the ladies are comfortable then the possibility of “play” has more of a chance of happening and happening successfully.

Club Rules

Most clubs will have similar rules such as no cell phones, no photos, do not touch anyone, and do not invite yourself into a “play situation”. I

If play is partaking in a playroom and the door is open, it means they want to be watched but do not get so close you are breathing on them, and most important: no chatting.

Is there food or drinks?

Almost all clubs are BYOB and will provide mixers. Some will have snacks and some will even cater dinner.

Watch your alcohol Intake

No one wants to be intimate with a drunk. It is important to pace yourself and drink lots of water. You don’t want to create a bad reputation for yourself.
Be careful with what you drink, It is important that you check the veracity of the club and who has invited you. The first time -and more if you are a woman- your safety is important; if it’s possible do not go alone and stay alert by checking your drink at all times.

Communication

You and your partner must be on the same page and agree for a “play” situation to occur. Also, discuss with each other any rules you have after the play session. You need to discuss what you enjoyed and did not. You don’t want to be involved in any drama so remember to leave arguments at home.

Exchanging personal information

Ok, this is different depending on the club. There are places where they ask you to use a fake name and never give your phone number to a couple you met at the club. However, in some high-end exclusive clubs, you can use your common sense there, and everyone wants to protect their privacy after all, so if you run into someone you want to see again, exchange information under caution. If you forget to do this and then contact the club owner, they will most likely pass your information on to the other couple. But the healthiest thing is to never give out personal information.

Hopefully, this will help you have a better understanding of what to expect; and what rules to follow when you do choose to embark on your first swinger party.

If you want to know more about swinger lifestyle, I suggest this publication by Victoria.

Casual Sex? There are rules to follow

Have you been in a casual hookup? If that is the case, you are not alone. 

Studies show that a lot of people are getting into no commitment thing as opposed to attachment relationships. It does not matter your reason for wanting a casual hookup; the fact is that sex can spice up your life.   If you have decided to embark on this adventure with all that it entails, It is a good idea to develop some rules you need to follow to avoid getting strings attached and even get the most out of the relationship.

Find the Right Person

In a casual sex relationship, getting the right person has another meaning different from a romantic relationship. Remember that you are not looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right. Instead, you are looking for a person to have great sex with. That means you need to skip your close friends and office colleagues, as things get weird afterward. You need to hook up with people you do not know that well. Even if that does not work, there are many online dating websites for casual hookups.

Set Some Ground Rules

Although some rules look like killing the enjoyment of casual sex relationships, you may regret not having some rules from the start.

Stay Safe

Remember that casual sex is not about getting everything casual, right? You should not get swiped into excitement and forget how important it is to have protected sex. Any sex that you practice should have zero strings attached and always protected. It does not matter whether you are exclusive or not; you need to look for different ways to protect yourself and your partner from STDs and unwanted pregnancies. If you are not sure what the best birth control method is, you need to talk to your doctor, and you will get relevant advice.

Leave Your Emotions Behind

You should note that casual sex relationships do work when both sides agree to put their emotions aside. In most cases, both individuals know why they are getting together to enjoy sex. Do not be fooled that it will get into something more lasting because chances are; it won’t. Since you will spend adequate time with another person, you might end up liking some of them. That is where things start to become messy. Even if you end up developing emotions, do not go ahead and say an “I love you” statement.

How is the experience of receiving an erotic massage?

First, you need to take a shower. Alone, or with a masseuse, it’s up to you, but water is an excellent conductor of energy and hygiene is important, not just for the masseuse but for your confidence during the session and it is underwater jets that the first negative emotions disappear.  Next, the masseuse will slowly begin to massage the most problematic areas of the client’s body. Erotic massage should bring the client to the brink of complete relaxation when feelings are sharpened to the limit, and every touch begins to excite. This is a struggle of opposites, on the one hand, relaxation, on the other a strong excitement, which ultimately translates into a powerful orgasm.

Erotic massage is a whole art, an extraordinary philosophy of love. It should be performed efficiently and beautifully. Not only men can enjoy it, but also women and half of humanity… I suggest. The main thing is the desire to enjoy, relax, enjoy, and be able to feel your body. After the process, you will not be the same and you can get rid of the complexes that confused you earlier.

It is not related to sexual contact and it is not rough primitive sex, as some belief. It is aimed at the sexual rapture, which is achieved through exquisite and gentle caresses. In addition to the beneficial effects on health, this procedure calms a person, and therefore positively contributes to his emotional component.

The atmosphere always plays an important role in a relaxation massage session no matter the place, if it’s in a salon or in the comfort of your room or a hotel, the masseuse should try to offer service at the highest level, which means that the client is already immersed in the world of attention and care from the very threshold of the entrance. A comfortable couch or bed, dim light awaits him in the massage parlor. Nothing should distract the person from receiving pleasure.  Further, relaxation massage offers to conduct, coupled with some additions. For example, if you include elements of prostate massage or vagina, then relaxation takes on a completely different meaning, and the emotions from what happened will simply go through the roof.

The most interesting thing is that relaxation massage, designed to relax a man or a woman, at the same time excites him/her. Ejaculation, like the final chord of the whole action, crowns a complete thrill, which some clients did not expect to receive.