Attending a Swinger Party? Here’s what you should know

Swinger Party /What you should know . Photo by Ibolya Toldi from Pexels

Many couples or singles have liked to enter this type of lifestyle. There are many reasons, maybe because you want to add “fresh activity” to your relationship, or perhaps if you are single and don’t want attachment of any kind this is a good practice, far from prejudices that there may be, I think it is a good practice to try at least once in your life, of course maintaining your emotional and physical integrity at all times.

What you need to know before attending a Swinger Event

Each lifestyle club will have its own set of rules but almost all follow the basic etiquette which I will lay out here.


It is important you care about how you are dressed. Hygiene is a must and nice clothes are important. There are situations where the male half has not shaved and he smells funny. This goes for both females and males. You need to attend these events knowing that you might possibly be intimate with someone so be prepared. Shave, wash your hair, brush your teeth and wear nice clothes, also depends on the place.

There are places that ask to be semi-naked since you enter, so finally, the top clothes don’t matter too much, however, use always really nice sexy underwear.

Have you ever heard people say “The woman decides”

In the swinger lifestyle, it is customary that the ladies begin a conversation with each other. When the ladies are comfortable then the possibility of “play” has more of a chance of happening and happening successfully.

Club Rules

Most clubs will have similar rules such as no cell phones, no photos, do not touch anyone, and do not invite yourself into a “play situation”. I

If play is partaking in a playroom and the door is open, it means they want to be watched but do not get so close you are breathing on them, and most important: no chatting.

Is there food or drinks?

Almost all clubs are BYOB and will provide mixers. Some will have snacks and some will even cater dinner.

Watch your alcohol Intake

No one wants to be intimate with a drunk. It is important to pace yourself and drink lots of water. You don’t want to create a bad reputation for yourself.
Be careful with what you drink, It is important that you check the veracity of the club and who has invited you. The first time -and more if you are a woman- your safety is important; if it’s possible do not go alone and stay alert by checking your drink at all times.


You and your partner must be on the same page and agree for a “play” situation to occur. Also, discuss with each other any rules you have after the play session. You need to discuss what you enjoyed and did not. You don’t want to be involved in any drama so remember to leave arguments at home.

Exchanging personal information

Ok, this is different depending on the club. There are places where they ask you to use a fake name and never give your phone number to a couple you met at the club. However, in some high-end exclusive clubs, you can use your common sense there, and everyone wants to protect their privacy after all, so if you run into someone you want to see again, exchange information under caution. If you forget to do this and then contact the club owner, they will most likely pass your information on to the other couple. But the healthiest thing is to never give out personal information.

Hopefully, this will help you have a better understanding of what to expect; and what rules to follow when you do choose to embark on your first swinger party.

If you want to know more about swinger lifestyle, I suggest this publication by Victoria.

Teach her to give you the best blowjob of your life

Getting a blowjob from the woman you love is like dream for most men. So you can teach her to give you the best oral sex of your life.

Your partner may have the best of intentions when it comes to oral sex, but there might be something she’s just missing.

Maybe her technique isn’t so great, maybe she’s timid, or maybe she doesn’t use enough variety. It may be intimidating for her to learn new blowjob techniques at first, but once she gets the hang of what stimulates you, she will feel like a sexual goddess knowing that she can make you come all by herself.

Oral sex on a male includes licking and sucking of the penis, balls, and anus. Fellatio is the term for the oral stimulation of the penis while analingus is the term for oral sex on the anus.
While blowjobs are considered rather exciting, “eating ass” and prostate stimulation are more of niche activity. Some men love it, while others could take it or leave it.

Keep in mind that every man is different. So just because what she is doing doesn’t take you to the roof DOESN’T MEAN SHE IS NOT GOOD or enthusiastic about giving your blowjob.
It could just mean she’s used to something different. The key is to get her to enjoy the act too and not just make it feel like a chore.

Starting preparations

The key to enjoyment for most men is whether she’s into it or not. Let’s face it, there’s a reason it’s called a blow “job”; it does entail some work and it can hurt her jaw if she goes at it long enough.

Even if she does enjoy performing oral sex, it can’t hurt to bump up her enthusiasm. How do you do that? Easy. When she’s down there savoring your man parts, tell her how hot she is and how turned you are. Act as her own personal cheerleader. The more excited you are, the more excited she will be to keep going.

Grunting, but out of sheer pleasure

This is not the time for her to keep quiet. Those gurgling, slurpy, sounds are undoubtedly hot.

Tell her how sexy she sounds moaning and groaning her enjoyment. And don’t forget to moan along with her so she feels more comfortable letting loose.

Keep looking

Eye contact is critical during oral sex. It makes all the difference between a so-so oral sex session and an amazing one. Eye contact says, “I’m confident!” “I’m so turned on!” “I’m so aroused and ready!” So tell her to look at you. Or lift her chin up and tell her you to love it when she looks at you.

Just bobbing up and down is about as interesting as eating the same chicken soup for dinner every night. It’s flat-out boring. She can move her lips. She can try deep throating. Or circling her tongue. Licking the shaft. This is not about just hopping from a move to move like an erratic robot.

Teach variety

However, she should be ready to pull out everything in her bag of blow job tricks. There are literally a million and one ways to mix up a blow job so encourage her to try new things.


She may be all ready for the main event, but that doesn’t mean she has to go right to it with no warm-up or foreplay.

After all, if you just wanted to focus on the act itself you could jerk off or watch porn on your own. You have a delicious willing partner, so the two of you can engage in extended play.

Let her scratch your thighs and lick them slowly. She can even start playing with you while you’re still in your boxers. Finesse and teasing go along way when it comes to a good session in the sack.

Before you begin, talk about what turns you on. Just going over some of the basics can get her ready for a great sex night.

Using hands makes a big difference

Just sucking you off with her mouth might not be enough to make you cum.

When you jerk off yourself, you’re using your hands obviously; you’re not actually blowing yourself.

So, what will work best is a combination of her mouth and hands. A simple “touch my shaft” or “jerk me off while your mouth is on me”, is one way to tell her to use her hands. Two hands can be even better.

Hands can go up and down, they can rotate, they can change speeds, increase or decrease in pressure, or stack on top of one and another. Of course, her hands don’t need to just stay on your penis.

While her mouth is on your penis, her roving hands can go on your stomach, your balls, your thighs, your butt, or your chest.

She can even use her hands to touch herself at the same time giving you a show as well. Talk about a win-win situation!

Lube or spittlebug

You know what sucks, (no pun intended)? A blow job or hand job with not enough spit or lube.
A mouth on a wet cock is reminiscent of a moist vagina, so it’s important to make sure everything is well lubricated.

You don’t need lube here necessarily, just a lot of good old fashioned spit.

She might be loath to spit all over your penis, but for many men spitting on their member can be a major turn-on.

So when you start drying out, or she begins to reach for the lube, ask her to just spit on your dick.

If she really wants to use lube, there are many available on the market that you both might enjoy.

Different Varieties of lube

Flavored lube: With this, she can swirl over your penis like icing. That way you can have fun watching her swirl it around your member. The only drawback is that it can become too sticky. The key is to not let it get anywhere else. Nothing worse than sticky sheets.

Water-based lube: These lubes are easy to clean but they dry easy so you’re going to need a lot of it to keep going.

Silicone lubricant: The wetness of silicone will last longer,  but ingesting too much of it might make your partner sick.

Warming lubricants: These lubes warm up when you place them on your body. You might want to try a test patch with these first, as some people find these lubes a little too intense.

How to use the naughty tongue

Now that all the semantics are out of the way, let’s get down to the real nitty-gritty; how to actually teach your woman the best blowjob techniques that’ll drive you crazy:

Step 1: Opening the mouth

Opening her mouth in an “O” shape she can slowly take your penis into her mouth, licking the frenulum and playing with moving the head around her lips and licking the shaft.

Her tongue doesn’t just have to lick you in an up and down motion. She can move her tongue in circular motions, massaging your penis with it, and flicking her tongue as well.

Pushing your penis against your stomach she can lick the underside as well.

From here she can lick the corona, play with the frenulum, all the while playing with and touching your shaft. Next, she can start to mimic thrusting by taking your dick in and out of her mouth.

Step 2: Using Her Hands

Keeping one hand at the base of your shaft, she can start bobbing up and down on your penis as the other hand goes up and down or makes twisting motions.

Taking it a step further, she can use one hand to massage the perineum or stimulate the prostate (more on that later) as she’s going down on you.

Step 3: The Balls

The often neglected balls need some attention too. She can give them love by sucking on them (known as “tea bagging”), swirling them around in her mouth, or playing with the skin in between.

She can also play with them as she’s blowing you as well.

Step 4: Putting it All Together

So she has the basics down; lube, tongue, toys, balls, hands. All she has to do now is put that together in a way that’s pleasing to you and poof! Orgasm.

Some additions

The important thing to remember is when she gets in a steady rhythm that is working, it’s up to you to let her know that she’s on the right track and she should keep going.

Even if she executed everything perfectly, you wouldn’t want her to behave like a robot the whole time.

Sex with a partner you love dearly is a combination of physical desire and emotional connection.

To enhance this, it’s best to savor each other going slowly, and taking the time to really play and explore with each other is what will make this an amazing sexual experience.

Now that she’s great at oral sex don’t forget to reciprocate when the time comes.